Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Laundry laundry laundry
never ending laundry
wash spin dry repeat

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Tired but relieved

The Bug man came yesterday and was very thorough, as can be seen by drawers pulled out of a dreser (still may get rid of) and generally even more chaos than when I left it. He was quite cute and a reader who has 12 bookcases and over 200 1st editions. Pretty cool.

Anyway I have spent most of today drying clothes through 2 cycles then washing in hot water then drying again then returning to their respective drawers. I have not made much progress I finished the ones in the dryer yesterday that had only made it through one cycle so they actually got 3 cycles of heat. Then moved on to the towels as I really want a shower soon so want a towel to dry off in clean and ready. Of course all the towels don't fit at once, so will finish the towels then move on to underwear and then one load of clothes including what I am wearing tonight to Ger's where I go and crash. I wish I had brought up the book I am reading There is a (Slight) Chance I Might Be Going to Hell by Lori or Laura Notaro. Quite amusing fiction. Great for summer.

What a beautiful day, I think I will run down get the book and read on the patio, once the dryer goes off so I have at least one load done and get another one started.

Geez what an incredibly boring weekend for me...yeah yeah....

Friday, June 25, 2010

Life Sucks Yeah Yeah...

Follow the Pink Floyd tune along. I have limited time at the computer this week as yes the bug guy is spraying for bed bugs today. I caught one and it really was one. It was on the wall waiting to glom onto my pillow. I only was bit at the Hood Canal which my boyfriend at that time told me the bites looked like bed bug bites. So after throwing away bags of stuff vacuuming I narrowed it down to yes either the worst birthday weekend ever (at the free cabin at the Hood Canal) or close to it excluding the beauty of the Hood Canal and the incredible Mexican Food and tequila shot. I either brought home a bed bug from there or after going through that section of my closet that had luggage and purses there was a gross purple newspaper bag type of bag, that I loved. Aaron gave it to me a long time ago, he got it at a thrift store, which you guessed it are being overrun by bed bugs. One of the saddest parts is I had one of those great old gray suitcases with shiny silver brackets on the edges that used to belong to my dad. It was full and all of a sudden the mystery of where my great sexy summer clothes that I loved - orange off the shoulder light sweater, black halter, etc. etc. etc. and some regular clothes I really liked were in that suitcase. I opened it outside and the impact forced a bug loose. Squish. And bag up the suitcase and take to the trash. Even sentimentality can't stay considering the cost of getting rid of these critters. Which is money I don't have and had to get. Ugh. Fortunately I got. Fortunately I had a way to get. So have been spending evenings dryin (heat kills) washing in hot water and drying again. Bagging those clothes up so I know what I have washed. Throwing out anything that looked remotely suspicious. The mattress set was gone on Sunday. After a night of no sleep going back and forth from the kitchen table to the love seat I called a friend at the bottom of the hill. She is so great she is like pack a bag bring it over, I said no - that is how they travel. I just seriously need a bed so have been cleaning (and it was already pretty clean) at night then shower put on my nightgown and clean clothes fresh out of the dryer and go crash at her place. Get up come home go to work. Yesterday the loveseat and bedframe were taking to the dump thanks to my ex's Guy and Aaron. Now I am still washing/drying clothes waiting for the bug guy. I can't find my vaccuum bags, I don't remember using them all, but the vacuum bag store - seriously you wouldn't think Eureka upright bags would be hard to find but I have to go to a special vacuum store for them....Because I used my last one last night. Borrowed Aaron's vaccum to finish up and now am waiting for the bug guy. Checkbook in hand. yeah yeah...

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Intuition

Greenberg was bad. Horrible. A waste of 3 hours of my life. I want to go to that director or even theater owner and demand my 3 hours back. If I had trusted my intuition I would have stayed in and watched 6 Feet Under - season 3. As it is I came home and had to watch it to try and remove the incredible stench of a movie I had just saw. Seriously it isn't even forgettable because it was so bad. It was what I tend to do in a poem before edited... 45 -50 minutes of throat clearing, - that is where the poetry similarity ends, it had no character development, and was oh my god just so incredibly stupid. I wanted to leave, but I had driven and my friend wanted to stay. I was trying to check the time to see if I could go to the movie Kick Ass which is you know forgettable, but entertaining. And hey I don't mind fluff. Don't get me wrong, I like the so called intelligent movies/independents, but this was just bad. I think the reviewers who all the different ones raved about it, must have been bribed, because they certainly could not have watched it without walking out on it. The audience was notably disappointed, GIVE US ALL OUR 3 HOURS BACK!!!! (3 hours because I included drive time)

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Argh

Some people really have no concept how to raise their children!!!!!

Sunday, June 13, 2010

an egg
broke hard
yellow goodness spills out
shit sack gone
brown shell remains
cracked and hollow

Saturday, June 12, 2010

I don't know what to do with myself on Saturday nights. And the Cymbalta commercial about depression on a night of bad TV programming isn't helping. Breaking out a library book.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Still working these:

Life/death
men with swords aside our Lord
above one stands ready at the guard
a few alongside in prayer
while a three headed woman
captive in the stocks
stays at his feet
eyes cast low to not shed her evil
on the master

who do I pray to now?




---------------------------------------


wet bricks told of the night rains
walls up high dried by the sun
only fifteen feet away, I hope I don't slip
only fifteen feet to what?
walls to high to scale
a bench by the passageway
even the guards need rest
no one in sight,
perhaps they lay in wait
in the recessed shadows
just ten more feet
perhaps I'll make it this time
perhaps not

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Sad now.
Don't know who said:

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

My mantra alongside...I'm ok I'm ok I'm ok.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Halloween

I was growing my hair for Angela who is an honest to goodness artist and is amazing and she even works with hair. I was going to cut it after Halloween. A friend made me this killer apron and I was going to be a hot housewife with a 50s updo for my guy. Guess I can cut it now. Don't have the guy to be the hottie for, and don't plan on another one. I mean if a thoughtful, kind, strong man in his 40s isn't aware that he really is a good man and there really aren't a lot out there...I just don't understand pushing away someone you love because you are going through a rough time. I am there for the people I love when they are having a rough time, but this time I am being pushed away so am not being allowed to support.

On the bright side I can wait til early July and get a killer do for Jen's wedding. Yup, the one he would still like to attend because he likes my friends. Smart man, of course he likes my friends they are amazing people. Jen said he wants all the fun stuff without the commitment, and that I already have friends for that. Maybe she is right, but don't think that is it. The lonlies last night were so hard.

alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Postcard Poetry

I had a workshop with Oliver de la Paz and he had us write poems based on a post card and while perusing garage sales found a yard of 10 for a $1.00 postcards. They have been sitting in a pile for 2 weeks. One I meant to mail to you know who and now tear up thinking about that so need to move on to the other ones. Maybe they have been sitting long enough. Maybe it is time to write.
He sounded so happy tonight. Not a care in the world. No girlfriend no commitment not a care in the world.

Thinking to much

Things we didn't do and were going to:

Las Vegas - Paris, a picture at the Eiffel Tower
Cape Avala
Olympic Music Festival Again
Summer Concerts in Kirkland
BBQing at the park
Seahurst Park

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Feeling quite sad in this moment. Chances are would be enroute back here with A by my side. We would watch some Buffy or Six Feet Under then curl up in bed. Sad I miss him and are shared time.

My back is hurting me. The doctor has me on Ibuprofin and vicodin for nighttime. I start physical therapy on Thursday. Have a plumber coming out tomorrow. Have to cancel being on interview committee on Thursday to go to the PT appt. Bummer could have used the overtime.

What I have

I decided to focus on what I have instead of what I lost:
(I know there is more than this, but it feels like these are the important ones)

A beautiful home to live in even if it is a basement!
A job I like more than dislike.
A bountiful garden.
SuperFriends - yup Superman and the Justice League would be jealous.

That is good for now....