I never thought not having a car could be so peaceful.

I am the grit of the city
the rain stream staining
the skyscraper

I am the footsteps
at the bus stop
and the crunched coffee cup

I am the little dog
with a pony tail atop
my head that everyone pets

I am the askew sprinkler
soaking the pedestrians
as they pass

I am the wave's crest
I am the snow topped peak

I am blood
...breath

and pass through you
every single day.

Marta Sanchez

My ex, A emailed me asking for my mechanic's name. I guess his new sugar mama is having car problems, cuz I know he can't afford a car. Poor woman he told me he wasn't attracted to her, because she was too big for him, but he was having fun...cuz I am guessing she takes him out places he couldn't afford to go. What a selfish, narcissistic user.

My knee was doing better, but I pushed it too much yesterday. Even the ibuprofen only brought the pain down to a throbbing pain. Today it just hurts and I don't wince in pain at every move. I just want to be pain free, how do people with chronic pain do it?

My theme song is ...to the tune of La Vida Loca, Living on Ibuprofen, ugh.

"This is what you shall do; Love the earth and sun and the animals, despise riches, give alms to every one that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor to others, hate tyrants, argue not concerning God, have patience and indulgence toward the people, take off your hat to nothing known or unknown or to any man or number of men, go freely with powerful uneducated persons and with the young and with the mothers of families, read these leaves in the open air every season of every year of your life, re-examine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul, and your very flesh shall be a great poem and have the richest fluency not only in its words but in the silent lines of its lips and face and between the lashes of your eyes and in every motion and joint of your body."
— Walt Whitman

I want ice cream!!!

I just feel sad today. Worn down and beaten. Going out to dinner with a friend maybe that will lift my spirits.

Watching The Object of My Affection it seems to be about settling so a person doesn't end up alone....sometimes I wish I learned that in my 20s.

Laundry done, kitchen a lot cleaner, living room a lot cleaner, walked to dinner, walked home, exhaused....

summer= oj, strawberries, bananas, raspberries, ice, blend!

I feel good. Still some issues with my knees, but dang I have a great place to live. I have the laundry in and have started cleaning. I feel fresh and new, almost shiny. That is a good feeling for this increasingly gray haired lady!

I miss the fraud, he made me feel loved like no one ever has. He said absolutely everything right. It is as if he knew Aaron consistently walked ahead of me obviously to me wanting him at my side. He told me he would always be at my side making sure no one ever questioned that we were a couple. He had my heart and now I am alone. I have been alone. I have been in a couple and been alone. I still don't know which is worse. This is only when alone equals lonely. There have been times in my past when alone doesn't equal lonely and I hope I find that space again. Just has been a rough week that's all. I will make it though.

Wild berry and meditterean mint the best gelato combo ever.Wish I had some or a car to go buy some : (

knee explosion
calf restricted
walking without pain
a luxury I miss
my body is strong
my body is strong
my body is strong

Piece meal
engine
Running on less than a quarter
of it's cylinders
paying 1100 here
500 credit
and owing 300
next month
piecing it together
one dollar at a time

The car I believe is in serious trouble. Having it towed to my mechanics in the morning...Ugh ugh ugh!

exhausted
exhausted
phooooooo
blowhole
whole
wool
blankets
bed