Suddendly Single

Well Aaron broke up with me last night. I wasn't clear on it and thought it was just him thinking I wanted to be married, but had told him before knowing he doesn't believe in marriage that reflecting on whether I want him in my life without marriage or not having him in my life I chose having him in my life. That discussion was a long time ago so thought it bizarre but that we had cleared things up. Of course this was all happening around 2am. Then at around 7: 30am when we were awake I asked just to be clear were you talking about not being boyfriend/girfriend because of the marriage thing. No. He doesn't think he is giving me what I need as a boyfriend. He is going through a rough time and I guess people who go through rough times don't get steady girlfriends in his mind. Nice of him to decide for me. But he wants to be close best friends. What? Yes....close best friends the same as we are not but with no affection/sex/pet names, etc. I think how much I will miss him but don't know if I am capable of close best friend status either. I had given up on finding anyone and was settling into loving my life and myself regardless of the fact that I was alone when I met him. I need to find that head space again.