I just saw a student who I haven't seen in almost a decade. She was going to stay with me while she went to community college, but couldn't break away from her friends. She is an absolute sweetheart and doing so well it was a great moment and my heart is full now.

I walked to Safeway today, picked up my prescription and groceries. My knee wigged a little at first so I just stopped alot and took my time. The groceries were too heavy to carry all the way home so I took the bus and ended up only carrying just under half a mile. Absolutely beautiful so I ended up stopping at the park and eating half of a sandwich I bought, then walked the rest of the way and ate the other half on the deck.

Also did 3 loads of laundry this weekend. Productive Sunday. Need to get better on my Saturdays, but Sundays are kickin!

I need a gameplan for Saturdays I seem to get in a funk on Saturdays. So far doing a bit better than last Saturday. Hoping I can still get something done today.

I started taking my Lexapro again. Third day straight. And I restarted my thyroid medicine. I have one load of dishes done. I ate a relatively healthy dinner. I had at least one fruit and vegetable today, which trust me is better than most days. And no I don't count french fries as vegetables.

Oh and I started my belly dancing dvd again. Just a little but it was a start. I just want to feel healthy again and yes sexy again.

And if I do date again and that seems like a pretty weighty if - pun intended - the man will have financial goals and be honest. He will also have a set work out schedule like I will have again. He will know that what is important in life and if we are pigging out with a friend going through a rough patch we won't worry or talk about the calories.

I had that life once or twice in my past, and I will again. I am on my way.

My house is a little cleaner, I have a clean vaccuumed floor, hence the ability to bellydance, and tomorrow I will do a little more. Maybe this weekend will be the weekend I make it to the gym to swim.

I have to remember sugar thins the blood vessel walls ultimately raising blood pressure. I have to kick the sugar habit again. I can do it. I can!

Another weekend, and my house is past unclean it looks like one of those camera shots on the news where they find underweight children or something. Ugh. I have to do something. I just seem to have no energy. I have forgot to take my sythroid for a few days so it could be an energy thing partially.

Hopefully I can at least get the dishwasher loaded.

sometimes life is hard and it really isn't supposed to be....

But on a good part I saw Hudson today - he is so incredibly cute! I can't wait to have time to play with him, what a joy! Cutest baby in the world!

Took today off from work. Celebrated a friends birthday on the Queen of Seattle. Quite amusing. She seemed to enjoy it and that is what matters. She is a great person.

I looked at W's pictures today..I miss him. Horribly. I miss him horribly. He was angry at me because I did not express concern for him. Of course I hadn't heard from him in a couple months so figured he dropped me so yeah how could I express concern for him.

Especially since I told him he needed to find a way to communicate with me when he was out of town.

I haven't heard from him since.

Sad really, he made so many promises. I miss the thought of everything he promised about us being together.

Oh well. Tired of putting my heart out there to have it all bruised and sliced. No more of that for me. Just sadness until I find that good comfort spot of aloneness. I had it once. I will find it again, it just make take awhile.

I feel defeated today. Don't know why all the reasons for good and going seem to be gone....

Pretty good weekend, and now I have to go be miserable for a stretch back to the grind..it makes me so depressed I don't have any energy until Sunday. I spend Saturday recovering.

Life is miserable, I am extremely sad.