Halloween

I was growing my hair for Angela who is an honest to goodness artist and is amazing and she even works with hair. I was going to cut it after Halloween. A friend made me this killer apron and I was going to be a hot housewife with a 50s updo for my guy. Guess I can cut it now. Don't have the guy to be the hottie for, and don't plan on another one. I mean if a thoughtful, kind, strong man in his 40s isn't aware that he really is a good man and there really aren't a lot out there...I just don't understand pushing away someone you love because you are going through a rough time. I am there for the people I love when they are having a rough time, but this time I am being pushed away so am not being allowed to support.

On the bright side I can wait til early July and get a killer do for Jen's wedding. Yup, the one he would still like to attend because he likes my friends. Smart man, of course he likes my friends they are amazing people. Jen said he wants all the fun stuff without the commitment, and that I already have friends for that. Maybe she is right, but don't think that is it. The lonlies last night were so hard.

alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone alone