High School Musical - Not

Aaron and I went to see a high school play tonight. It was very hard for me to sit through. I just thought it was a poorly selected play for high schoolers, but what do I know! But the kids looked like they had fun and they all knew there lines which is unusual, at least from past plays I have viewed for the school. So Bravo Brava for the kiddies. Bravo Brava!!!

More Sangria

I have flowers on one of my tomato plants and two of the pepper plants How frickin' exciting!! I think I have to make some Sangria. I think that is my drink of the summer. Yes I do. Sangria!

Morning walk

Did a good walk. Walked an extra block and hill in the same time as the previous long walk so am making progress. Or at least I think I did, near the end I ran into a friend (work and neighborhood friend) who was out walking her dog and we walked for about 10+minutes.

The mountains are big. The world is big. I am small and insignificant as our my woes.

Jenn and Darren are going to Whistler on the 4th of July. Aaron wants to go to some activist retreat. My mom died the day after the 4th of July. In the last few years well I can finally be around small amounts of people, but not up for being around a large group of people. The closest I came to that was walking to the firework lookout and hanging way back from the other people and watching the fireworks alone. But hey it is progress. Maybe someday again I will be able to be all fiesty and ready to be the change I want to see in the world, but most days I just feel like hiding.

XC
Then hate me when thou wilt; if ever, now;
Now, while the world is bent my deeds to
cross,
Join with the spite of fortune, make me bow,
And do not drop in for an after-loss:
Ah, do not, when my heart hath 'scaped this
sorrow,
Comme in the rearward of a conquer'd woe;
Give not a windy night a rainy morrow,
To linger out a purposed overthrow.
If thou wilt leave me, do not leave me last,
When other petty griefs have done their spite
But in the onset come; so shall I taste
At first the very worst of fortune's might
And other strains of woe, which now seem
woe,
Compared to loss of thee will not seem so.
Shakespeare

Friends and Sangria

I had dinner with Jennifer, her boyfriend Darren and her brother Rhys. Her friend Angela joined us much later. It was wonderful. There was much joy watching Jennie with her guy. She seems so genuinely happy. Good for her! She waited a long time, and finally met a great guy. Then there was her and her brother, man were they like 6 and 8 years old ready to break out into a cootie war, hilarious. I can just imagine the road trips, Mom his leg is touching mine. Un uh. Uh hu. I love my friends. They laugh and have a great time and are going to Whistler over the 4th, how cool is that?

I have to go be there for one of my kiddies at the school play tomorrow night. She has the lead, I can't wait to see her do that drama thing!!!

Getting better

Although I will say I am getting better at speaking up when I feel angry and not letting it stew. Also narrowing the hurt down behind anger. I feel good about that.

psss

I overhead a woman leaving the Gary Snyder reading, she said something like Overall people are nicer these days, that is what I was really trying to say. Good thing she is not in my life, just keep on those tinted lenses lady, maybe I should borrow them.

Big Dogs

I was walking tonight and it was such a beautiful sunset. Absolutely peaceful over the Olympics. Then I passed a tall man with a big dog, and a huge bag of poop! I always wanted a big dog, but hmmm I may have to rethink that! Big dog = Big poop!
It was a long day at work today. I had to stay for an interview committe and then hit lousy traffic and didn't home until 5:30pm - I was beat. I crashed until 8pm then fiddled around and then enjoyed a nice walk. Am completely missing my man tonight, I have not heard his voice today, and it feels unnatural. I am such a sap, I know I know, such a sap.

Parting thought: boomerang (or is it boomarang?)

Better

I feel much better. I went for a walk, did some stairs and sit ups, and just had a healthy breakfast.

I need to clean up a bit it seems like there is always something on my table. Granted I was looking for healthy recipes yesterday and so yes it is covered with cookbooks, but still. So I found a broccoli casserole in Cooking Light and am excited to try it with the halibut. I am going to cheat on the halibut and rather than go and buy this that and everything else, am just going to use the lemon caper dill sauce I have and smother it in that.

Ok, well I am determined to get the table cleaned off so wish me luck!

Blah

I feel blah or like a big blob. I have to go for a walk and then come home and do sit ups. I went to the Mariners game for a friends birthday on Friday and felt gross. My big gut in everyones way including my own. Just thinking about it makes me angry, sad and tired.

Sunshine

What a fantastic day. I want to be outside in the garden. Think like a tomato!

I do to!

I DO TO HAVE PERMISSION.

silly error on my blog harumph I will have to get rid of it later

Again

My speaking skills are lacking tonight. I can always tell when I say something that makes Aaron feel angry his voice gets a little terse. And yes, like so many people who grew up around anger it scares me, so I hurry and end the conversation. So as I stated before, my communication is not effective this week, and now my boyfriend is going out of town for 2 days and I won't have time to clear things up with him and this totally sucks!!!!

Arrrgh

So one of my bestest friends for her birthday wants to go to see the Mariners so I am taking her on Friday. Or at least I hope I am. The stupid website is like in 2 minutes we are giving your seats away...in 3.15 minutes we are giving your seats away... so I bought them for the wrong night!!!

Ugh. So can customer service help me. No. I have to go to the box office. I am going there straight after work.

All in all communication has not been effective for me this week. This sucks!!!

Ichiro, Griffey, Ronnie and Felix

What a night. First we had a great dinner at Dukes, Aaron had a free meal for his birthday. Then we went and saw the Mariners for free. We left in the 5th inning and we were down by 1, but right by FX McRory's we heard really big cheers, twice. So we are guessing we are ahead now. I have the news on trying to find out. It was a good game, I was just unprepared for the cold. Honestly I am such a wimp!
Aaron liked his gift. I made a collage of several of the events since we have been dating. I even clipped out the 12/31 calendar box and wrote in everywhere we went for our first date, plus things like broccoli, because he loves broccoli, some sexy pictures from a postcard from an Art Not Terminal Show, concert clips, reading tickets, etc. etc. etc. Then on the back I wrote a brief timeline. Anyway I had fun making it. He has brought so much into my world, and as girlie and high school as it sounds I miss him when he isn't around. Sigh.

Argh

I potentially have 2 free Mariners tickets tonight, but can't get through to coordinate with Aaron. I don't want to lose the tickets though! ugh!!!

Birthday Celebration

Tonight Aaron and I are going to Dukes. We will each have a free birthday meal. How wonderful. I made him this great gift and I can't wait to see his reaction. Since he reads the blog, mums the word for now!

It will be the first of our celebrations. He actually has to go to be with a friend who is attending a funeral on the day of his birthday. It is in Portland so he will be out of town on his birthday, but is coming back on Friday. Probably too late to see him so will continue gift giving, pie (pie over cake, go figure - that's ok I'll keep him) when he returns. I love birthdays!

Time

I am amazed a the amount of time that people have to facebook/email/twitter/flicker/and whatever new social network has begun recently. If I had not committed to a poem a day, and if anyone noted the time it was usually very late (for my schedule) it would not have happened.

When do people do it? I have one friend who after the kiddies and husband are down for the night facebooks away. I guess if you don't need sleep that is a great option.

Is there some sort of time expander on the black market? Is there even a local black market? Crazy. Crazy. Crazy.

Drives

I wrote a beautiful poem in the morning it was about how beautiful Mt. Rainer was her white hair was so long. I know that is why traffic moved a little slower we were all gaping at the white slopes imagining the hidden curves. Unfortunately my pen had rolled off the seat so the poem went out of my head. So it finally rained. Aaron and I BBQ'd last night. We took my little grill to the park a block away and watched the ferries cruise out to the islands. We gazed at cotton ball or mashed potato clouds - mine were cotton balls from the bathroom cupboard growing up, his were mashed potatoes. We read some poetry, then ate some yummy food then went home and snuggled and talked. Now I am so lucky because we do really great things like go to museums, poetry readings, concerts, etc. but my favorite thing is hunkering down under the covers with him and talking. Spock knew what he was doing I don't think a mind meld hurts if it is with the right one. Ok, well I must work on my poem for my writing group tomorrow. Maybe this weekend I will have time to post the pretty Port Angeles pictures.

Hollow

two girls drop stones and perch
facing each other
hand cupped to their ears
they listen

nothing

a young girl comes by
beau in hand
she steers him clear
a wide birth to the well

an older one
carrying so many stones
she fights to hold the apron
releasing the stones

tears fall
as she releases the stones
relinquishing
what she thought was love

memory

The memory of Aaron's arm around me Friday night doesn't keep me warm tonight.

Excitement in the Air

Oh I am so excited I get to go to Naomi Shihab Nye's reception this evening. One of my bestest friends gave me a ticket for my birthday. I am spoilt like a stinky bad egg left over from a summer picnic ground into the car rug!!! I can't wait, my favorite poet and an incredibly human being. Yay!

Vacation recovery zone

I am back from Port Angeles, what a great weekend. I met my honey's mom and she is great. We went to the Sol Duck Hotsprings and soaked under the perfect drizzle of rain, then picnic'd in an advanced drizzle. The papernapkins soaked through and we stayed there and ate our meatloaf sandwiches and munched our chips defiantly. Of course the rain stopped when we were taking a small hike to a waterfall, and started again when we got out of the car to use the restroom! We also sat on a rocky/boulder-y coast and listened to the waves crash and watched the lights of Victoria, B.C. and Venus. Something else that was astounding is the outdoor sculpture garden. I like it better than ours. Ours feels so pretentious and that we...well I guess to be fair I would describe theirs as a Frank Lloyd Wright creation, it lets you discover the art in the nature from pea pods hanging in the trees to ringable iron bells to a patch of sweater cast - one even has a bow tie, and some pieces that you might miss if you don't look down low enough or wide enough. It is beautiful. Ours is I guess an outdoor museum, it is just there to view and walk around/through, but don't touch. Unlike the eyelash bench that my sweetie and I had our picture taken at. The trip was long though, if you can wait for the Hood Canal Bridge to reopen - do!

Now I am in lazy mode. If I had pulled myself out of bed when I had all my energy, chances are I would be out of the house right now. Oh well. Oh and I have about 4 dozen roses opening in my home. Beautiful reds and yellows and oranges. All sent from my childhood friend Deanna. Thanks Deanna, what an amazing surprise. They are so beautiful, and yes energizing think I will get off my butt and go stick my nose in one of the bouquets!