hmmm

When I was leaving the new writing group Murder of Crows tonight. Which was interesting. I will leave that there. I love the women and the varying skill levels ok, not leaving there, because I feel like such a phony. In the past I wrote 3-15 minute pieces and now I struggle filling up a page. So tonight I am walking out with one of the girls who finished first in a marathon (in her 20s) with a plate (previously of cucumber sandwiches and cherry tomatoes and some guy yells from a car, put down the plate and lose some weight or some other derogatory statement involving the word fat. I was so engrossed in our conversation and honestly realize at this stage of my life that the statement was more a comment about the person yelling than me. But damn if my little 20 year old friend didn't yell something like Fuck you Asshole. And gosh the sweetness of her defending me I realize now makes me tear a little. Yes. In the past I would have been up all night with my low self esteem doing crunches as opposed to oh say having a slice of marionberry pie. But even that would be reactionary, because I am sated now. So I don't need the pie, and yes the crunches would be good, and maybe I will do them, but strictly because I have been doing them all along as I try to embrace my workouts again. I just don't want to do them as a reaction to the person I don't know from Adam trying to make me a bad person. So thanks to my heroine tonight. And thank goodness I am finally learning to let things go without eating through it. I will get better at this emotional eating thing. Actually I am already getting better at it. So once I can start consistently doing my work outs again the weight should start falling off again. And damn I hate spending so much time talking/writing/blogging about weight. How much time do women spend a day thinking about weight/fashion/makeup/bodytype, etc. etc. etc. Dang. So back to the important stuff Murder of Crows is having a poetry reading October 2nd at the Phinney Ridge Community Center I forget what time, and I am kind of excited about it. Something about tonight. I kind of feel like a poet again tonight, it feels good. How I have missed that feeling....Oh I can't fight this feeling anymore, ...is running through my head... sing it Steve Perry...was it Steve Perry or wait was it REO Speedwagon hmmm??? (Or is my musical illiteracy completely showing now)