Angela is on a bender of art, you have to check out her blog. Her latest pieces seem to hover and float. I love her work.

It is a good thing Aaron and I have close to the same eyeglass prescription, because he has mine on this morning, but is meditating so I will just wear his!

A depressing start looking at my credit union and credit card balances to find out where I am going to get gas money. But there are people with less so it will all work out.

Last night I dreamt that my cousin Mary came over as though she was just lived down the street as opposed to being my sister's backyard neighbor in Ann Arbor, MI. (hmmm maybe these are my glasses they just feel like somebody elses.)Anyway she brought over some stuff to cook up, and kitchen gifts and then my sister - yup the one from Ann Arbor popped up at the door. She joined in. And I thought ok, I guess there rift is over as they were chatting away, I notice Aaron sandwiched at the counter between me and my cousin and told him go put some pants on. And that makes me laugh, because I can just hear my mom's voice telling my dad, Fernando go put on a shirt when someone was coming to the door. See dad was usually working outside without a shirt on or cleaning up something or working on a car so it meant change shirts. Eventually he could sometimes be heard, oh better go put a shirt on. Anyway I digress. Somehow we ended up at the end of park trail and I found this beautiful altar at the side corner of a house. Apparently the family built if for their four year old who had died. It sort of had one dollhouse room done in stone and then right next to it some miniture stone sculptures. All of a sudden Merci (my sister) and Mary were leaving. Then Aaron and I were driving down a street I suspect in Ann Arbor trying to find where they lived.

That is it. All I remember. Looks like a nice morning for a walk, so going to head out for that now.

This little piggy

Since mid January at the doctor for ear and throat. Within 2 weeks back for back pain, within a week for heel pain. Into February with the heel pain, then a couple weeks later a bug check and now a pelvic pain. This little piggy is running out of money for co-pays!

Believe it or not

I actually had to go to the doctor to have her tell me yes I have bug bites not scabies or some other weird human flea thing. Now after catching four little bugs and putting them in rubbing alcohol in a container on my outside ledge the exterminators will come out, pick up the container and call me. Can we please just get a spray going on here.

I am staying at Aaron's which is a small cluttered home and am very appreciative as it is bugfree. I think I slept for 5 hours last night as opposed to the 2 the night before when I would bound out of bed and grab the vacuum and suck up the bugs.

I am pretty sure whatever little critter it is it is coming from the vents. My landlady generously keeps her home warm and makes sure my place is warm with these vents, but can I have the heat without the bugs please?

Fleas maybe

Ok, still not sure what the bug is. Maybe fleas. Tiny little suckers eating my fingers and toes for a 9course meal. My landlady is going to call a bug guy tomorrow, one more nights of bugs. Yup I rewashed all my sheets and comforter and went to put them on the bed and there it was I think a flea. I don't know I just know it is tiny. It sat there waiting and hopping off before I could vaccuum it up. One more night of bugs. Tomorrow I will stay at Aaron's and possibly until it is taken care of, this is ridiculous!

Hmmm I think my renter's insurance might cover housing so I should get a check while staying at Aaron's that will of course help cover the cost of all the bug spray and anti-itch cream and pillow and mattress casings. Argh!

Found

I found tiny little bugs/mites in the couch so vaccumed them up yesterday. Still spraying the floor, couch and vaccuming 2 - 3 times a day. During the process of cleaning the couch I got 2 more bites. I wanted to get rid of that couch anyway, I think this might just be expediting the removal.

In spite of those critters, the day was great. A couple months agoa Amy who I met at work, we went from talking about working out to about appetizers and food. So Aaron and I had them over. She told me they are vegetarians, but with some exceptions, and basically they are what I call conscientious eaters. They only eat animals that are treated well and have had a good life. They buy meat from a farm in Skagit Valley and prefer to go to the farm, but occassionally will go to their stand at the Ballard Farmers' Market. So Alex made ribs. Aaron and Alex made stuffed mushrooms oh and Aaron made some broccoli (I thought we needed something green). I made a flourless chocolate cake with some high end chocolate, and fresh whipped cream. It turned out marvelously. What a delightful time with great conversation about books, and home towns, and different experiences and events. It was joyful.

Here is the cake recipe originally from Gourmet magazine. And if truth be told I love this recipe for it's few ingredients, and easiness factor, it always works.

Flourless Chocolake Cake
8 oz quality bittersweet chocolate, roughly chopped (I have only ever used Sharffen Berger for this cake and will only ever Scharffen Bergeruse for this cake.)
2 sticks unsalted butter, cut into pieces
1 1/2 cups sugar
6 eggs
1 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

Preheat oven to 350degrees.
Grease 9or 10 in. springform pan, and line the bottom with wax paper (grease the liner)

In double boiler, melt chocolate and butter. Stir as needed. When completely melted remove from heat. Whisk in sugar. Add eggs one at a time. Mix well after each egg. Last whisk in cocoa pwoder until just combined.

Pour into pan and bake for 35 -40 minutes. Cool on rack fro 10 minutes.

Serve warm with whipped cream.

(for the really special occasion, cut a mold/design out of paper or waxed paper fit over finished cake and then sprinkle confectioners powder over)

Yay!

Night one, no new bites!

Thanks to my guy although very weary from his extremely physical job, he still came through helping me struggle with my mattress and boxspring. We were both weary and I of course was impatient and well the good new is no new bites this morning.

The sun is out physically and also in my heart. I am wearing seashells because it feels like a beach day. But it is still cold outside so wore socks and sneakers instead of sandals with my warm floating spring pants. Yay! Sun!!!!

Good night sleep tight DIE BED BUGS DIE!!

Yesterday, I had a few bites on one finger. Today I had a few more. Bed, Bath and Beyond, Bed Bug Death Spray and Mattress Suffocation Encasement here I come!
Die Bed Bugs Die...die bed bugs die!!!!

zzzzzz
shoooo
zzzzzzz
shoooooo
zzzzzzzzzzzz
shooo
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Wow!

What a day. I vaccumed some hard to reach spots, got the primroses planted. Swept the outside steps, took out the trash, emptied the dishwasher, washed and dried the sheets, blankets, pillows, a stuffed bear and a load of darks, worked out on the rowing machine, exercise bike and elliptical trainer, met a new friend Amy for hot cocoa - talked, talked, talked, and talked some more, bought some flowers, mopped part of the kitchen floor (have to do it in sections to be able to get to the washer/dryer)and am now ready for bed on my nice clean sheets! Met Market with a coupon had tulips two bunches for the price of one so I bought some for Aaron and I to share. This was kind of like a perfect day. I know spring is on its way, because that is when I am so productive. Less SAD and more active, glad and full of energy. I think I will take Thursday off too, and have a four day weekend. Thursday will give me a chance to finish what I started cleaning wise! YAY!!!

February 15th - WE ARE CLOSER NOW TO SPRING THAN WE ARE TO WINTER!!!

The peas are in their damp napkins, their soil pots are waiting. Tomato seeds hopefully in their pots by tonight.

Daffodils

When I turned 16 one of my best friends consciously had her birthday party on the date that I had chose to have mine. Now being the youngest of eight meant that I was spoiled, but only to a limit, and even I knew my parents would not outspend my friends parents. She came from Texas and was always competing to be best friends with one of my best friends, since apparently you can only have one. So I cancelled my party and watched as her parents gave her 16 red roses. I had told my mom and dad the exact gift was what I wanted. (I think we saw it on some teen flick around that time) so naturally on the actual day of my birthday (opposed to the convenient Sat night party)I received 16 daffodils. My dad thought this was a much better gift as daffodils make people smile. People ahhhh and ohhhh over roses, but daffodils light up a room. Of course I said thank you and that was about all (I was a very ungrateful child) and only now as an adult can agree. Yes daffodils are my favorite flower. Yes I have a yellow and purple rose bush in my Ppatch plot, but I love daffodils. They are so bright and yellow who doesn't love yellow. (Ok I am sure there are some people), but they genuinely do make people smile. Especially when you buy them unopened, cut their stems, put in water, go to bed and Wammo! a burst of sunshine in the morning. Yes. My fabulous boyfriend with an ear infection, strep throat, and an infected toe took the bus to two stores to try and find me daffodils for Valentine's Day. What a precious man. Since they are not out yet he bought me these gorgeous trio of lowers yellow ones, white ones and pink ones. I feel so lucky today. The sun is out and I am going to go for a walk. He had to work last night, and then we did a Buffy marathon (he never watched the series) then crashed. We plan to have a nice Valentiney celebration on Friday, when hopefully he is all better. In the meantime, today we have to hit the store to replace some clothes of his that were stole from the laundry room. I'd like to think they really needed them, but in his part of town you never know. Ok don't want to go there with all this talk of sunshine and daffodils so lets leave it there, I have a wonderful man who is daffodilicious who doesn't get to caught up in the Valentine's hype and I love that!

Blown Away

Ok so now without any proof and giving a description of someone around 30 with black hair the library is trying to exclude my guy from using the library for a year for stealing books. Ok. I am not naive. This is a man who has made sandwiches for the homeless, housed people in recovery, fought for equal rights for women and gays in a previous workplace, oh and hmmm put some information out about local police corruption. Not exactly a thief. He has requested a hearing. And if need be we retain litigation. This is insane. Here is this completely underemployed man, although still lucky enough to be working 2 - 3 shifts a week, who used the library for solace, a place to think and scavage for music he always wanted to check out. Yes he is a bus commuter and tends to carry big bags with him, lets see I think the contents equate to something like: water bottles, sweatshirt/coat in case the weather changes, usually something he has found for me- card/ear wraps/etc., and yes books, either his own or ones clearly marked from the Seattle Public Library that he has checked out.

Coincidentally enough the exclusion is supposed to be until January 8th. And right around that time the guy who I term a bum who Aaron finally kicked out of his house after he let people in on New Years Eve/Day and completely trashed, broke, and stole stuff. The guy met him in the same neighborhood the library is that issued the exclusion and met him I am guessing around January 6th or 7th. Of course it may not be him. He has had problems with the police targeting him ever since he tried to make some corruption known. So this could get ugly.

Either way it is a sad statement to think the library can exclude someone from using it without one piece of evidence or proof. Naomi Wolfe and End of America are so frighteningly right, a closed society here we come. Thanks for having some balls Obama.

Geez.

try again different topic

It always surprises me when people in or around my life disappoint me.

Earlier I mentioned a poet who I knew about a decade ago and how she passed. She lived as a free spirit and really didn't let other people's stuff get in her way. I admire that. When she passed I thought the people who organized her fundraiser might host a memorial. And they did a private one. So yeah, I am hurt that I was good enough to hit me up for money for her, which I don't regret and wish I could have given more, but wasn't good enough to invite to her send off so to speak. I guess I should just be grateful they let me know her situation. And I have had enough death in my life to understand grief. And I have her button pictures on the window ledge. I need to move one to the outer ledge so she can be out in the world as well as checking in on things.

I had a hairdresser - do they still use that word, a stylist perhaps cutting my hair after my dad died. And he had what I call a good death. After taking him off life support he lasted for 10 days in a coma. A friend said he is just taking his time and saying goodbye to everyone. I like that, it still makes me tear up. Anyway the hairdresser was shocked at my vibrant nature and asked "aren't you mourning" I said well I guess you could say I am more celebrating the life he lived.

He was in his 80s and Gabrielle was in her 40s so doesn't feel like much of a celebration. But like I said she lived by her own rules, and that is honorable. And whatever feelings I have about her and her passing are mine and are ok. Just a little bump in the road.

Well I need to find out if I need to feed the parking meter or if I can go work out. Have a good day everyone.

Wild

Ok, I am at Aaron's using his computer and his keyboard hates me. It just wiped out everything I wrote. I HATE THIS KEYBOARD!!!!

I kind of feel like Anonymous Girl 5 (Angela Simione's piece). At least I can write with my hands, but there is nothing like a good scream. Or even a whisper.

Spasms

So almost better. I only had about 5 minutes of back spasms during the day, then just a dull pain. Then in the evening had a couple more. The kicker was when at Whole Foods with the boy and had a major one. I was ready to drop everything and go home of course we didn't and checked out. I went home and grabbed the ice pack while I took my other medicines before taking my major painkiller, because I don't like to put all those drugs in my system at once.

Yet here I am dulled by 600mg of Ibuprofen going to a minor work out after my job. Then going home to ice and heat again!

Blogging

I just love Angela's blog. She writes how I feel so many times. Click on the Shape of Secrets at the left.

I hate being in pain. I felt ok Sunday and then Monday sitting at my desk job for 8 hours, almost put my back to the state it was in Friday. I spent 3 hours alternating heat and ice and could only walk 2 blocks after wincing in pain. Hopefully a call into the doctor will allow for something during the day as my painkiller is strictly for before going to bed, cuz after it makes me all dopey it then knocks me out.

I shouldn't complain though, my sister just had a hysterectomy and the surgery went fine. But having one of my ovaries out had me in a constant awareness/state of pain for 3 days. I had an amazing caretaker (in the hands of a good friend and her nanny) so healed nicely.

Oh well send Xanex thoughts... or Valium energy, anything that helps me move.

Pain

So I was stepping out of the shower and pulled something. I have a pain in my left sides around my back. The first thing I thought was Oh no another cyst. The next thing I thought was Oh no appendicidis. Both my mom and sister had appendix isssues and had them removed in their early 40s. Ugh. I understand it causes a lot more pain than what I imagine I have going on so positive thinking. Everyone cross their fingers it doesn't turn out to be that.

Weird

It was the library police. But they are normally alerted by the librarian and the librarian was trying to tell them they had the wrong guy, but the library police wouldn't listen. Great. So much for safe havens.

It Continues

So Aaron in his past tried to get a company to remove asbestos from a work area, was labeled a trouble maker, and basically driven to a stress level that would have fell a horse. Then being a naive soul who had seriously no parents to impart wisdom, put up several notices about seeing a cop accept a bribe. Oh yeah, he actually signed his full name on these. Now his life is difficult. Today in what many of us see as one of the safest refuges around a cop (still trying to confirm SPD or Library security) advised him that whenever he is in the library more items are stolen from the library. The description worked off us was black hair, and then they had a wrong date of birth on whatever information they had. The librarians tried to speak up, because yes he is an avid library user. And when a bus broke down and he was stuck waiting for another lost a huge book with a huge price and has been making payments to the library every week. So yes a guy who makes payments on a book that he lost and told them about, does that sound like a theif to you. I can't imagine his life. He has had a girl set him up who decided she was mean to his friend and after spending time in jail/holding cell the police realized the girl was crazy and let him go. Apparently she had done the same thing to a business man with money who let them know her story. And yes I do believe rape/abuse happens, I know Aaron and I also know there are sick people out there either not taking their medicine or not on the right medicine. I just wish my guy who writes Congress weekly who has taken in quite literally an alcoholic homeless bum who he thought would change, to helping another couple (all this in a studio apt.)who he helped find housing. This is absolutely absurd and something needs to be done, when the library gets involved with false accusations we are in serious trouble. I expect it from the corporations police and politicians, but come on the library. Crazy.

I must have really missed my guy last night, because I woke up sleeping at an angle, practically horizontal across the bed. Guess I was looking for him. Bummer.