I wish my big bear was hear to sleep tonight. Good night world.

Thoughts

My sister goes in for surgery in a few days. She is getting rid of her vital lady parts. She has two kids, and is a great mom I hope everything goes ok. Gabrielle's passing has me mildly wanting to visit Michigan, but brrr not during winter. And she has a whole group or people to care for her so not necessarily (ok no matter how I change the letters around this word looks spelled wrong)worried about her. It is interesting. I miss the sense of community from the poetry world I had been so active in a decade ago, but I left because of the drama. And when you lose a mom to ovarian cancer and then 3 months later have a brother murdered you really get that don't want the drama theme in my life. Sad though, some of those poets are so funny and brought great laughter in my life. Now most readings are so late, I am not sure I could stay awake for them! I still have poets and artists in my life. And a great guy. And a beautiful place to hang my hat. My life is rich, even if I am in debt. I think the sun is hiding behind the clouds today, and making a nice bright cloud glare. Unless you live climatically someplace like Seattle you just don't understand cloud glare is really a good thing. That is if the sun isn't out. Daffodils, I can't wait for daffodils. They are usually out by now in the grocery stores, but I have not found any yet. I hope Monsanto doesn't get ahold of them. I need my daffodils today.

The now full angel...

Gabrielle Bouliane - "When You Hear That I Have Died, Think Of This"Share
Today at 12:28pm
Gabrielle had this read on her behalf at iWPS this past fall.
i find it even more fitting now.
Bunny Up, friends!
love you all.

************

When you hear that I have died, think of this.

Think of cool nights breezes while you walk to meet your friends for a beer on a Thursday. Think of waking up in flannel sheets on a snowy morning and kissing someone you love. Think of hung-over diner breakfasts and the best cup of coffee in the world. Think of the sound of tires on seamed highways while you travel, think of French kissing and leather jackets and push-up bras and bourbon, think of the joy of hard work with friends. Then think of me.

Not sad, not the melancholy solitude of empty skies, but the full days and crowded bars and signed contracts, a smile too big for my face, remember I said I stay busy enough to fit three lives into one. When you hear that I have died, know that I want laughter, and dancing, real dancing, to music that makes you move without thinking, you’re wearing boots and jeans and a great t-shirt and wondering if the girl at the edge thinks you’re cute. And you motherfuckers had best DANCE, none of this bullshit rock-nod hands-in-the-pockets shoegazer nonsense, no, make an ass out of yourself, feel your hips, kick off the high heels and sway on the shoulder of a stranger, when I die, you’d better be laughing your ass off on sidewalks, eating deliciously unhealthy food, drinking shots and tipping your bartender well no matter how much money you make.

And Adam has to read the poem he wrote, and Laura, and June, and Scott Carpenter has to play “Don’t Go Away, Chloe”, no fuck that, every musician I’ve ever made out with or videotaped or road-tripped with has to play, so drink some coffee, baby, it’s gonna be a long night. When you hear that I have died, the best thing you can do is to get laid that night with a comfortable stranger, use my story to get their sympathy, and when you kiss them for the first time, think of me then.

When you hear that I have died, and you will, remember your best revenge is to live well, take risks, save up money and chase your perfect happiness. Beat the system and learn to make your art really support you, craft into something your audience can’t live without. Then make the world an even slightly better place -- stop throwing your cigarettes on the ground, vote in the next election, graffiti your life on the eyes of the hungry.

Then just do me one last favor. Please. Love something. Anything. Start with yourself, but find passion in everything, from an apple pie to a novel, make a family, get a degree, walk whatever path is yours with your chin up and feet planted firmly. Have the best stories to tell in the old folk’s home, about lifelong friendships and epic love affairs, about the time you lost everything and yet found yourself happier than when you began.. and remember that time we got in SO much trouble...

Poets.. remember. This is the story that never ends. When one of us leaves, another walks through the door. The pages turn, the sun keeps rising. All you can do in the meanwhile.. is to speak for yourself. Raise your voice high, tell your story, join hands against the dark and sing our souls to the sky. Know the best in me comes from the best in you, that as you tell your story, you will be telling mine, and our lives will be linked together forever, and everyone who hears you will become a part of the change we make.

So when you hear that I have died..
just ….live.

-Gabrielle Bouliane

Rest in peace love and laughter

Much love to you Gabrielle. I asked Mom,Dad and Tony to look out for you. I am sure you can all laugh and have a beer together.


from Caringbridge.org

Family,

Our friend Gabrielle died today, January 29th, 6:03 CST under hospice care at Christopher House. She was surrounded by family and friends, peaceful, and not in pain.

Gabrie​lle's parents, family, and friends wish to express their gratitude for the enormous outpouring of support that has been shown over the past weeks.

Keep an eye out for further information re: memorial service and other events.

Bunn​y up, y'all.

More weirdness

Generally speaking I don't like the word weird, but dang what is playing out in my sleep is just weird. I won't bore you with the details. School classroom, previous teacher, math of all things. Yikes. Gotta (another one of my least favorite words - got) wonder what is going on!!!

zzzz

More dreams this time I had to deliver a package to 14th Ave S. The same street as where the fundraiser was, but in a city like Vancouver, B.C. For some reason I knew it was B.C, but not se what city. So I was on a roll going from 16th to 15th Ave S. going downhill toward a body of water. Yes, the body of water came up before 14th Ave S. And yes the street was across the body of water. I know I know it would not have been a South address if it was across the water, but hey it was a dream.

Bunny up

I am writing this letter on line because we (her friends) can only send her positive thoughts and wishes.

Dear Gabrielle,

I am sorry you are sick. I hate cancer. I need my superheroine to find the most skilled surgeon in the universe and remove that inoperable tumor. I wonder if he/she would if you had money. If you weren't poor maybe the prognosis would have been better. In the economic climate these days who knows. You are a poor outspoken liberal artist you taught us to embrace the hippie in all of us through generosity and love.

Let me sign off with Tim Sanders' "Dirty" Haiku for you:

Overalls come off
Dive into the summer squash
Naked gardening

I love you Gabrielle. Bunny Up.

Poetry love

Prior to this year I was the Poetry Club advisor at a local high school. As my role at work changed I had to give that up this year, but one of the kiddies read a poem to me that I have to share. She gave me permission to post it here.

Untitled
dedicated to the Asian lady who owns the corner shop by where I live.

I used to think my brain didn’t function right. Was I imagining things or was I really listening to all of these stereotypes? Why is it that every time I step into your Asian hair products store I need a tour guide? Did your really need to fallow me everywhere? Your eyes were glued to me like I was a celebrity. Every step I took you took with me. Every word I spoke you listened closely, while of course still keeping your eyes on me and observing me like I was a specie from another planet. DAMN IT! Maybe I should just walk around with my hands up so that we could both feel a little bit more comfortable, you would know where I was and finally understand that just because I was young and black didn’t mean I was going to steal anything. In fact why would I waste all of this potential that I have to steal your stupid container of bee’s wax? Perhaps, I would be more happy to have you keep your eyes off me, but most importantly I would love for you to stop thinking so damn ignorantly. I understand that people steal things sometimes but don’t make any generalization about me because I’m not like everybody. Some believe that racism in America has ended because we have a black president, for those of you who believe that please think again. I’m not here to give you a lecture about blacks in America because they already have that show on CNN. What I’m trying to prove to you individuals is that black is not a trend. It’s not easy doing something as simple as walking in to a store without getting generalized, rationalized, and categorized. People please understand that I am not here to raise my hand and fight the power because that has already been done. I’m here to just speak on my opinions about racism, stereotypes and maybe I’m going a bit to fast for you and none of this makes sense just because I used to think that my brain didn’t function right.

by S. L.

Home

So tired. Long day gone at 6:30am home at 9pm. Ugh. Open house. Smile for the families..home home home, bed bed bed...

Good Morning

Good Morning Aaron, Rebecca, Gabrielle, Angela, Merci, Tim, Oliver, Deanna, Joni, Mark, Kiddies, Workerbees, Friends of Past/Present/Future, WORLD

GOOD MORNING WORLD

I started a new piece last night filled with holy water, skin y mas. It is churning.
Churning Churning Churning.

like butter....hehehe

Drive

You cannot go forward looking in a review mirror.
Biggest Loser Contestent

Listen to Gabrielle

Word

I just received word that an old poetry friend is near death. The old scenesters are getting together for a fundraiser and to celebrate her life. If you know Gabrielle Bouliane and want more information please let me know. It is funny I remember and can hear her laugh. We did not see eye to eye on everything, but we had good talks and good meals and shared spoken word. It was timeless back then as I am sure her memory will be.

Return to Sender

I have to go back to work tomorrow. My tonsil I believe has returned to its normal size and my ear may or may not be better. The medicine was ok outside of needing to breath was worse than the illness.

I have not been at work since last Tuesday. I want a real week off where I have time to work out, and walk and cook beautiful foods. Where I get to know my body again and clean my home from washing the windows to mopping the floors. I want to return from a walk and collapse into the lemony fresh clean smell.

But tomorrow I go to work. I have my breakfast and lunch packed. (Aaron actually got a bunch of salad, salmon, chicken and pork leftover from some event so he sponsored dinner tonight, lunch tomorrow and a few more meals outside of that) My clothes laid out. My parking ticket - I hate fucking belltown - ready to mail.

I just keep thinking of getting out of debt so I have to work. And that sucks. My true work suffers. My body suffers. And I am tired.

Sunday

Quiet Sunday. Nothing to say today.

Fucking freaking mcfreaks in belltown and capital hill i hate those neighborhoods.

Grrr Credit card companies

Little Girls Can Do Big Things

Leave Organic food alone!

Courtesy of Move On and the Food and Water Watch:

The U.S. Dept of Agriculture is closer to approving Monsanto's genetically engineered (GE) alfalfa, despite the fact that it's likely to contaminate other crops, including organic alfalfa. Almost all organic dairies are dependent upon organic alfalfa, and organic standards don't allow the use of GE crops. Tell the USDA to preserve organic and reject GE alfalfa.The USDA has studied the possible contamination issues with this perennial grass. They admit there could be problems, but claim they don't know if the contamination of organic alfalfa would matter to consumers of organic food. This is ridiculous, since avoiding genetically engineered ingredients is one of the biggest reasons people seek out organic foods.We need to tell the USDA loud and clear that consumers want foods that are free from genetic engineering. Tell the USDA that consumers do care, and they should reject genetically engineered alfalfa.
http://action.foodandwaterwatch.org/p/dia/action/public/?action_KEY=2027

Where to begin

Now outside of my swollen tonsil and fluid on the ear both non-contagious Aaron is sick with a lousy cold and has his eye shut probably from stress. I hope he is well enough to go to Tacoma to get him out of the city. That always helps his stress. I wish he had parents that told him when you speak up for the right thing with the wrong people there is a chance that those people will squash you. He still would have spoke up, and that is why I love him. Anyone out there send stress free vibes his way please.

Grace Paley

I think this writer is amazing.


Here and Somewhere Else
Stories and Poems
2x2

Here

Here I am in the garden laughing
an old woman with heavy breasts
and a nicely mapped face

how did this happen
well that's who I wanted to be

at last a woman
in the old style sitting
stout thighs apart under
a big skirt grandchild sliding
on off my lap a pleasant
summer perspiration

that's my old man across the yard
he's talking to the meter reader
he's telling him the world's sad story
how electricity is oil or uranium
and so forth I tell my grandson
run over to your grandpa ask him
to sit beside me for a minute I
am suddenly exhausted by my desire
to kiss his sweet explaining lips.

Grace Paley

Malaise

I feel such malaise right now. I just read a facebook status from someone from highschool who said put this on your status bar about supporting the troops for an hour and if you don't support the troops then stand in front of them. So now we don't have room for opinions and open dialogue. Funny that is what some of the vets fought for, freedom of opinions. As a matter of course I do support our troops, but also know murder intimately and don't know what the fuck we are still doing over there Obama. What the hell. I really am beginning to think he is more of a puppet than Bush. Just look at AIG I mean Geitner, what the hell. Of course I had that dialogue a long time ago with a very informed friend who has the great fortune of being well off enough to retire in his forties. He doesn't live extravagantly and manages his money well and he has time to be up on politics, city local and yes world. (rather than federal lets start saying world because I think we sometimes forget that is what we are a part of and that our national actions do influence the world). Ugh. Feel icky and that post just made me feel worse. The medicine has horrible side effects and on that note I am off to the bathroom again...

All In My Head

Well kind of, I have fluid in my right ear and a swollen right tonsil. Maybe I will bust out the watercolors and paint what I imagine that to be. I love to paint it amuses me so. Not that I actually paint on a regular basis or anything, but my previous masterpieces always make me laugh.

I hope the medicine works fast so I don't have to miss the reading tonight. Although I am supposed to be resting and drinking lots of fluids. But if Aaron drives us then all I am doing is sitting and listening. It kind of depends on if I still feel conscious of my breathing. Oh well.

Yowsa

50 minutes. I did the treadmill for 50 minutes today. At around 42 I had trouble breathing, and now a couple hours later my ears are popping. I think my workouts might be letting my ear infection that I have felt building come into play. I hope not. Maybe a real night's sleep will help.

Tomorrow Filipino Art event, cannot wait. Amazing writers/readers at Seattle University, 7pm and it is free. Aaron and I are going to the gym first, me just a 30 minute work out and then grabbing dinner and then head up to the event.

YAY!!!

Love Bomb

ILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOU
ILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOU
ILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOUILOVEYOU

I love my boyfriend.

I love Aaron. I was watching Biggest Loser. It was the show where the doctor discuss all the reality involved with extra weight. I don't want to be a burden on Aaron or anyone else. I don't want to be on high blood pressure medicine, but have had borderline high blood pressure since high school so may not be able to do anything about that one. However I can get off the diabetes medicine. I hope I can stick to this plan. Aaron and I are going to work out on Thursday. He is going to meet me at the gym. I am going tomorrow. I am going tomorrow. I am going tomorrow. I will do 45 minutes on the treadmill. I will do 45 minutes on the treadmill. I will do 45 minutes on the treadmill.

And tonight in my sleep I will survive Giant People Eating Dragons and Worms and run off any burglers.

The end.

Dream.... dream dream dream dream dreammm

I had a dream that in one spot so maybe it was two dreams I was walking with others along a ruptured highway. I was hurrying as there was a schoolbus on its side and we me and a lot of other people were trying to see if the children were ok.
Jump forward to being in a fancyschmancy hotel that was more like a condo. It had one of those voice activated butlers and I remember waiting for someone or something that I was supposed to be doing and the butlers voice decided I should take a bath so I was like sure why not. So the automated system was filling the tub while my clothes were dropping to the floor and something made me go into the living room where there was a guy who had just walked into the room. He was a burgler, and somehow I didn't have a towel, but a cardigan lengthwise covering me. I was yelling at him Get out, Get out of here. He looked at the cardigan and told me to just relax. I kept yelling get out, and yelling to the automated butler thingee to help and that there was a burgler in my room. No answer. So he ran out the door, and I ran out behind him, knocking on doors with no one answsering as I wanted someone to call the front desk of the hotel to report the burgler and send security. He dodged down the stairwell as another guest was coming up the stairs I sort of nudged her out of the way and told her to go to her room and call for help because he was a burgler. Then I waited a minute after the door closed and opened it up and he was waiting behind the door. I yelled GET OUT again and started chasing him down the first two steps and he climbed out the window and shimmied up or down the brick wall that sort of had ladder like insets into it.

What is going on with my dreams?

Laughter

I woke up this morning and could tell it was a day I would need laughter so:

The 50foot Jesus that almost beheaded Aaron
Harold and Kumar go to White Castle
Little Miss Sunshine
Farts that sound like duck quacks


That will have to do for now.

Soups On

This recipe is courtesy of my ex - the mycologist Guy

Shitake mushrooms - a lot
spinach - sliced in thin strips
sesame oil
broth, chix or vege
cheese crumbles, mix it up make once with feta, another time with blue, etc.


Saute mushrooms or actually cook in the oven drizzled with sesame oil until done.

Heat the broth. When heated add the spinach. Give the spinach time to soften 2 - 3 minutes. Add the mushrooms.

Ladle into your favorite soup mug. Add a small amount of cheese crumbles. You don't want to overtake the mushroomy broth just add another hint/layer of flavor.

This goes nicely with a non- saltine cracker, more of a rich butter or grainy cracker.

oops - Guy normally puts a lot of garlic in sauteed after the mushrooms, I forgot to and I think maybe only 1-2 cloves.

Smiles in the morning

A just farted twice and it sounded like a duck quacking. HA! Good laugh in the morning. He has had this crud since Christmas on and off and it just leaves him tired. I ran some errands yesterday, but mostly we just watched hmmm More Tales of the City, The Green Dragon, More Tales of the City, and the Gran Turino. Aaron doesn't care for the Gran Turino, thinks it is too heavy handed, and the Christlike ending is over the top. I looked at it as entertainment. And unfortunately I think there are still some places in Michigan where yes they still talk like Wally. But the darlings of the show were Sue and Thao. He said he has know racist but even they don't talk like that. I thought, hmmm super small town in Michigan in a van over one of the high school breaks with a friend visiting her cousings drinking and making myself as small as possible hoping they don't notice I am Mexican because they have just trashed and threatened every race except of course the White is Right club. I didn't hold it against my friend and was too young and in way to remote a place to not be afraid of whatever else lurked out there...and now the scary part is that yup they were my age. I don't remember if the van was gray, but it feels like it.

Dictionary.com

Sniggle verb (used without object) 1. to fish for eels by thrusting a baited hook into their lurking places. –verb (used with object) 2. to catch by sniggling.


Dang, it already exists. I still like mine better which means to linger. The cold sniggled for weeks.

Oh well.

Sniggle

I think I just made up a word - sniggle - and I like it.

Mejor

I think I feel better. Too soon to tell. My bed is under this heater that is from the main house. And my wonderful landlady (seriously) pours on the heat in the am and pm and it seems like every 3 minutes there is a full on minute of hot air coming out. Hence the soar throat. Yes I am one of the many Americans with less than the average size sinus cavity and also still a snot nose kid with equals to breathing through my mouth at night. Breathing hot dry air. Sore throat. Yuck. But I feel better today. I feel rested. And clear. How odd. Even somewhat with a sense of energy. This sensation has been lost for a bit so am scared to overdo it and end up back in bed in oh say 15 minutes. But I did start the dishwasher. Yay me!

Sore throat

Last night I had a dream that there were giant dragons and worms with mouths that were attacking the city. I ran in different neighborhoods of the city from something that looked like the woods around the railroad tracks by Golden Gardens to some unknown building location. It was a total Japanese Godzilla movie style dream. There were people running everywhere, and the animals found their pray by movement. Giant motion sensors that ate top down. For some reason a person could hug a tree and the monsters couldn't detect you. But you had to more than hug the tree you had to become one with it, basically fuck the tree. I remember wrapping my legs and arms around the trunk of this giant palm tree and watching a monster eat someone about 50 feet in front of me who sort of slid into the tree to wrap himself around to late. The dragon's mouth went straight down ate the tree and the person. One of the dragons skulked right by me when I was wrapped around the tree. Safe temporarily. My friends were killed. I yelled to them to be still, but they were laughing and playing like it was a joke. Then I remember running with strangers to find the next hiding place or monster free zone. Look out Zombieland the giant worms and dragons are coming!

I figure any screaming I did in my dream must have given me the sore throat I have tonight. I have gargled with warm salt water and had chicken soup. Going to bed now and sleeping hoping I wake up better.

Diabetes

Sucks!

I am reading a book about the glycemic/insulin functions of the body and it is actually well written and appears to be factual. My blood sugar was higher than normal tonight and the book indicated that a 20 minute walk will lower insulin 1000 pts or mili something, I don't remember that, so I went for a 20 minute walk. My blood sugar was 95 when I got home. Amazing. Under a 100 is great. So just got to keep it up. Thanks Jennie what a great Xmas gift.

Abe Vigoda

Does anyone remember when the cop shows had the men dress up as women, mostly as prostitutes. I can't help but remember Fish and Deitrich on Barney Miller, in their big blousy dresses, and how funny they played their parts. It wasn't sexist then or inpolitically correct just simple humor. Sometimes I miss that.

Attempt 1

My journal was hiding today. Wrapped up in a bed of blankets. I guess depending on what I think of this maybe it should have stayed hid!

Resolution

lit charcoal
under my skin
above my elbow
fire travels
to my wrist
an eyebrow itch
my right hand reaches
the searing moves up
stopping the scratch
a marshmallow burns
crackeled black
stringy goo
white molten skin
brown to the eye.
Marta Sanchez

Bummer

My monitor blew up yesterday, at the library again. Dang. Hope to get a free one off of craigslist, but ready to just buyu a new one. Dang I hate using the library computer. I have to keep nudging the guy next to me so he knows his mouse usage does not need to be right next to my keyboard. Ugh!!!

I forgot

One of the best things about the amazing paper store is this great journal I got in the clearance store. Journal being a fancy word for book with paper to WRITE in, and yes I have the writing bug. Yay!

2010

Happy New Year All!

The day from that last post actually turned into a good day, I went back to bed woke up around 10am, and maybe it was the resolve, I don't know, but it was a productive fun day. From going to a paper store - this amazing store with scrapbook stuff, and picking through the clearance section. I am getting ready to start my scrapbook of weight loss again. Anyway, after that I met my friend Karen who has been unemployed a long time, and she is a smart, hard worker the economy sucks. It was a good decision to buy her a chai something, whatever she drinks rather than spend the $10 on a manicure. Then Aaron came over later and we stayed up late enough for me to sneak his anniversary card on his pillow. Yup 12/31, New Years Eve is our anniversary.

Can you believe it? One year. We went to the St. James Handel's Roman Fireworks or something like that concert that started at 11pm. We got there around 10pm, found a great parking spot. I unfortunately ate something that had my liver on fire so had me rushing in the bathroom. Fortunately I had that feeling before we even set foot in the cathedral so Aaron got seats that yes as I made it back to my seat after the orchestra and singers were on stage, but I didn't miss any of the performance. Then about a minute or two before New Year's the music stopped and a bell started to toll.

And before you know it Happy New Year. Then two people walked around with these big I thought they were angels at first but then realized it was supposed to be Jesus sort of long ribbon kite thingies that kept swooping the heads of people. Of course just as Aaron whispered something to me about the hat removal, the woman started walking toward our section. Aaron was still making comments, and I was just watching, and when it was one row ahead of us it was set to nail Aaron in the face. I laughed so hard I cried. Now as yes we were in a church I laughed as silently as I could with my shoulders shaking and my head buried against Aaron's shoulder. The trio behind us then started laughing, and I said to Aaron what a better way to bring in the new year than with laughter. Fortunately I was able to regain my composure before the music started up again, ok, one 5 second relapse which let to Aaron then whispering about luckily not having any toupees removed. Yowsa. We left close to 12:30pm and since we were going toward where everyone was did not experience to much horrid traffic.

Got a little crowded around Fairfield and Mercer. Hope there were no accidents or fatalities last night or this morning. Aaron drove and that was a real treat for me. We decided next year even if it is New Year's Eve to stay in, unless of course The Dusty 45s which we found out were at the Tractor last night do two shows like they did at the tractor. We will be old boring farts and go to the early show and then come home safe and sound and celebrate at home.

Oh we also watched the Fisher King, which I think is a perfect movie for New Year's. We are still working out our Christmas traditions, but think we found our New Year's one.

And I completely forgot we worked out yesterday. That was my present to him a 3 month membership to the club I go to. He is supposed to get me there twice a week, and I will get myself there twice a week. It felt good to work out. Eating is coming along.

Yes, and now for some of the resolutions:

Lose 1-2 pounds a week
For January, track food once a week
Eat a minimum of one fruit and vegetable a day (when you work and cook for yourself there are so many non-vegetable options available at the store/fast food, etc.)- Revisit in March to increase amount

There are more, but I want to talk to my sweetie first before revealing them here.

Ok, Best of Laughter, Love, Fame and Fortune to you in 2010.